Conversation
Long-term relationships
- How to apologize in a relationship so it landsA good apology names the specific thing, owns it without a 'but,' offers to repair and changes something. Examples, plus Gottman's repair research and limits.
- How to talk about money with a partnerWhen to raise money, what to share, how to handle debt and different habits, and how to split costs. Survey data on couples and exact lines to open the talk.
- Keeping your own friends and hobbies in a relationshipHow to keep your friends, hobbies and time alone once you're with someone: a simple time budget, standing plans, and how to ask for space kindly.
- Attachment styles and dating: what the theory says and where it stopsAnxious, avoidant and secure attachment explained: where the theory came from, what the evidence shows, and why an online quiz isn't a diagnosis.
- Being a good partner: habits that matterHabits couples research and counselors point to: answering small bids, sharing good news, owning mistakes, and asking your partner what matters to them.
- Boundaries in a relationship: setting yours and respecting hersWhat a boundary is, how it differs from a demand, examples for time, phone, money and friends, how to say one calmly and how to hear a partner's no.
- How to argue fairly in a relationshipHow a fight starts shapes how it ends. Soft start-ups, I statements, breaks, apologies and finishing a fight, with the research and its limits.
- How to talk about sex with your partnerHow to bring up sex with a partner: when to do it, how to start, how to ask about wants and limits, and what research says about sexual communication.
- Jealousy in a long relationship: what to do about itJealousy after years together: common triggers, how to bring it up without an accusation, what the research says, and when it has become controlling.
- Keeping romance alive in a long relationshipRoutines that can keep a long relationship fun: shared new activities, how you respond to good news, small gestures, time apart, and how couples differ.
- Marriage: whether, when and how to decideHow to think about whether and when to marry: what US data shows on age and wanting marriage, which topics to settle first, and how to bring it up.
- Mismatched sex drives in a relationship: what helpsOne partner wants sex more than the other. What research says about desire gaps, what couples try, health factors to check, and when a sex therapist helps.
- Moving in together and meeting her family: what to settle firstWhen to move in together, what to talk about before you sign a lease, and how to handle meeting your partner's parents, with research and its limits.
- Why relationships fall apart: common causes and warning signsWhat divorced people say ended their marriages, what Gottman's 14-year study found, the limits of both, and warning signs worth acting on early.
- Why trust breaks and how couples repair itHow trust breaks in a relationship, what repair tends to involve, what two lab studies found and don't show, and when to bring in a counselor or step back.
- Your partner's past: handling insecurity and curiosityBothered by who your partner dated before you? What to ask, what to leave alone, how to handle comparison, and what the research does and doesn't show.
