Run Game Practice

What to share (and not share) with someone you just met

6 min read

Share in stages. Early on, a first name, general interests and the broad area you live in are fine. Hold back your home and work address, daily routine, financial details and intimate photos until you've met in person and built some trust, and keep a few things, like account details, to yourself indefinitely. Dating platforms' own safety pages say the same, and it applies in both directions: you're also the stranger to them.

Why bother

Most first dates go fine. The point of pacing what you share is that it's easy to do and hard to undo. An address can't be un-shared, and neither can a photo.

For a sense of why people are careful, Pew Research Center surveyed 6,034 U.S. adults in July 2022 and reported its results in February 2023. Among adults who have ever used a dating site or app, 48% had experienced at least one of four unwanted behaviors: unwanted sexually explicit messages or images (38%), continued contact after saying they weren't interested (30%), being called an offensive name (24%) and being threatened with physical harm (6%). 52% of users thought they had come across someone trying to scam them, a share Pew put at 63% for men under 50. These are self-reports from people who've used dating platforms, and the rates differ by group: for example, 56% of women under 50 reported unwanted explicit messages or images, about 30 points higher than the share of men. Among users, 41% of women and 23% of men said the platforms weren't a safe way to meet people.

So worries about privacy come from men and women both, and from whichever side of the exchange you're on.

A simple order to follow

This is advice, not a rule, and your own comfort sets the pace.

Stage Reasonable to share Hold back for now
Chatting or just met First name, interests, general area, type of work ("I work in design"), hobbies Last name if you'd rather, exact workplace, address, daily routine
Before a first meeting A voice or video call, your social handle if you're comfortable Home address, bank or account details, intimate photos
First few dates Where you're going and when, to a friend (not just each other) Where you live, keys, house codes
Later, with trust Address, family, friends Money requests either way until you know each other well

You can move faster or slower. What matters is that you choose it, not that someone's pressure picks it.

What the platforms and the FTC say

Tinder's safety page says never to share "personal information, such as your social security number, home or work address" with people you don't know. It also says to avoid sharing details about your daily routine, and never to share information that could be used to access your financial accounts. It advises keeping conversations on the platform while you get to know someone and being cautious of anyone who pushes to move to another app early. It says to meet in a populated, public place and never at your home, your date's home or another private location, and to tell a friend or family member where and when you're going.

The Federal Trade Commission's 2024 post on romance scams says to tell a friend or family member where you'll be, and never to send money, crypto, gift cards or wire transfers to anyone you haven't met in person. It also reminds readers not to send pictures of a personal nature, and notes that scammers may threaten to make pictures public or send them to family. More on that is in catfishing and romance scams.

Item by item

Address

Keep it back at least until you've met a few times in person and feel comfortable. Meet somewhere public, and travel on your own. Tinder's page says to stay in control of how you get to and from a date. Mentioning your neighborhood is usually enough. If someone asks, "Which street?", it's fine to say, "I'll tell you when I know you a bit better."

Workplace

Saying what you do for work is normal conversation. A company name, a floor, or a shift pattern is more specific, since it tells someone where you'll be and when. Tinder lists your work address among things not to share with people you don't know. You can say "I work in finance" or "I'm a nurse" and leave the rest for later. What to say when she asks what you do has easy ways to answer.

Daily routine

"I'm at the gym at 6 every morning" is easy to say and easy to act on. Tinder specifically lists daily routine as something to keep private with strangers. Talk about your week in general terms until you know someone.

Money and accounts

This is the firmest line. Never share anything that could be used to get into your accounts, and don't send money to someone you haven't met in person. That includes "just for now" requests. The FTC's rule covers it, and it works for anyone who's asked for money early.

Photos

Don't send intimate pictures to someone you haven't met. The FTC calls out that scammers may threaten to make pictures public. If you do send images to a partner you trust, sexting, consent and privacy covers the legal and trust issues. It also goes both ways: never share a photo someone sent you.

Social media handles

Your Instagram can show where you live, your friends, your gym and your routine through posts and location tags. Some people share it right away, some wait until after a call or first date, and some make the account private first. Neither is wrong.

Phone number

A number is common to swap once you want to text, but it connects to other accounts. Some people use a second number or an app for early chats. It's an option, not a requirement.

Respect their privacy too

Privacy goes both ways, and the person you're meeting is making the same calls.

What to do next

  1. Make a short list of what you won't share until you've met someone a few times: home address, daily routine, account details.
  2. Decide your own order for last name, workplace, social handle and phone number, so you aren't deciding under pressure.
  3. Before a first meeting, tell a friend the person's first name, where you're going and when. Check in afterward.
  4. Adjust your social profiles. Turn off precise location tags and check what a stranger can see from your handle.
  5. If someone pushes for money, private photos or your address early, you can say no, step back, or stop replying. That's an answer.
  6. Read first date safety and meeting someone from online safely before you meet someone new.

If you're meeting people through Run Game, the same logic applies: meet in public first, tell a friend, and agree a plan.

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