Run Game Conversation

Sexting: consent, privacy and the law

6 min read

Sexting is a conversation between two adults who both want to be having it. That's the whole test. Anything sent to someone who didn't ask for it, or shared with someone it wasn't meant for, is where the trouble starts, for the person who receives it and, increasingly, for the person who sent it.

This article stays non-explicit on purpose. It covers how to ask, what to think about before you send anything, what the law says in two places (England and Wales, and the US federal system), and what to do if an image gets shared without permission. It isn't legal advice, and laws differ by country and by state.

Under 18: the law, stated plainly

In the US, the Department of Justice defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor, meaning a person under 18, and says federal law bans producing, distributing, importing, receiving and possessing it. Don't ask for, send, keep or pass on sexual images of anyone under 18. Other countries and US states have their own laws on this, and they can differ in detail. Everyone in the rest of this article is 18 or older.

Consent to chat isn't consent to receive pictures, and a yes to one thing isn't a yes to the next. Either person can stop at any point, and a pause, a changed subject or a slow reply is a reason to ask or to drop it, not to push. There's no "warming someone up" into it.

Asking is simple and doesn't ruin the mood:

Unsolicited images are the part with a legal edge. In England and Wales, section 66A of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, inserted by the Online Safety Act 2023 and in force from 31 January 2024, makes it an offence to intentionally send a photograph or film of genitals to someone if the sender intends the person to see it and be caused alarm, distress or humiliation, or sends it for sexual gratification and is reckless about causing them alarm, distress or humiliation. The maximum on conviction on indictment is two years in prison. From 8 January 2026, GOV.UK says, cyberflashing is also a "priority offence" under the Online Safety Act, which means, in GOV.UK's words, dating apps and social media platforms must take proactive steps to stop these images reaching users first. Elsewhere the rules differ.

The practical rule doesn't need a law to back it up: don't send an intimate image that hasn't been asked for.

Privacy: what happens to a photo after you send it

Once an image leaves your phone, the sender can't fully control where it goes. The other person can screenshot it, back it up to the cloud, lose a phone, or share it. Most people never do, but you can't verify that in advance. Some things people commonly do to cut down on risk (these are suggestions, not guarantees):

If you receive an image, it was sent to you and nobody else. Don't forward it, don't show friends, don't post it, and don't use it to win an argument. That includes after a breakup.

In the US, the TAKE IT DOWN Act was signed on 19 May 2025, according to The National Domestic Violence Hotline. The FTC describes image-based abuse as when someone creates, shares or threatens to share an intimate photo or video of a person without their permission, and says the law covers real images, digitally altered images and AI-generated deepfakes. Under the Act, covered platforms such as social media, messaging and image or video sites must provide a way to request removal, and must remove the image and known identical copies within 48 hours of a request. If a platform doesn't, the FTC says you can report it at TakeItDown.ftc.gov. The FTC also notes that only platforms can take down images shared without your consent.

Other countries and individual US states have their own rules on sharing intimate images, and they differ in what they cover. If this has happened to you, a lawyer or a local support organization can tell you what applies where you live.

When someone sends you something you didn't want

You don't have to reply to be polite. If you do want to respond, a short line works: "I didn't ask for that, please don't send me pictures." If it continues, block and report on the platform. You can also report it to the police. Don't forward the image to friends, and keep the original chat as it is if you plan to report it.

If you're the one who got a no: stop, don't explain or ask why, and don't send a "sorry, but" follow-up that reopens it. A no is a full answer.

When it's mutual and goes well

Trust matters more than technique. Moving a sexting conversation to a private channel only after you've been talking for a while, checking in every so often ("still good with this?"), and treating a change of mood as the end of it, are all ordinary ways to keep both people comfortable. If you're meeting in person soon, consent and respect covers the in-person version, and emoji, photos and voice notes covers everyday photo etiquette.

What to do next

  1. Before sending anything intimate, ask: "Are you up for that?" Wait for a clear yes.
  2. Before sending an image, check that it doesn't show your face or anything that could identify you, if that matters to you.
  3. Decide in advance what you'd do if it got shared, and whether that changes what you send.
  4. Don't forward, post or show anyone an image you were sent. Delete it if the person asks.
  5. If you receive something unwanted, reply once, or not at all, then block and report.
  6. If an image of you is shared without permission, use the platform's removal request and report at TakeItDown.ftc.gov (US). Elsewhere, consider telling the police.

If you've been sexually assaulted or coerced, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-4673 (US).

Sources

This is general information for adults, not legal advice. State and national laws change, and this article doesn't cover every jurisdiction.