Rebound relationships: what they are and what research says

A rebound relationship is one that starts soon after a breakup, often before the feelings about the last one have settled. Popular wisdom says they're a mistake. The little research that exists is more mixed: one pair of studies found that people who got into new relationships sooner reported better well-being on average, and a few risks showed up too. It describes groups, not you, and it can't tell you whether a particular rebound will work.

What counts as a rebound

There's no official definition, and no official time limit. Psychologists Claudia Brumbaugh and R. Chris Fraley, who published a 2014 study on this, define a rebound as a relationship begun shortly after a breakup. "Shortly" is vague. Three weeks and three months can both count, depending on who's talking.

That vagueness matters. When someone says "they're on the rebound," it's usually a guess about that person's feelings, and a guess is all it is. Nobody outside the person can measure how resolved a breakup is.

What the main study found

Brumbaugh and Fraley published "Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships" in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (online March 2014, print February 2015). This page draws on the abstract and a Psychology Today summary of the paper, not the full text, so sample sizes and statistics aren't covered here.

Here's what those two sources report:

The paper describes two studies of people who had been through a breakup.
People who were already in a new relationship felt more confident in their desirability and had more resolution about their ex than people who weren't.
Among people who had started something new, a shorter gap was linked to better psychological and relational health. The summary lists well-being, self-esteem and respect for the new partner.
Emotionally stable people tended to have shorter gaps.
People who started new relationships quickly were more likely to have sought revenge on an ex, and they compared new partners with exes more often.
The authors conclude that rebounds may be more beneficial than they're typically thought to be.

The limits

This is where people over-read it.

Associations, not causes. Neither source reported evidence that dating sooner caused the better well-being. People who were already doing well may simply have been quicker to date.
Averages. A group trend doesn't predict what happens in one relationship.
Thin evidence. The abstract notes that few studies had examined rebounds before this one.
It isn't about the new partner's experience. Nothing summarized above measures how the person being dated felt about being a rebound.

The accurate headline isn't "rebounds are good." It's "the evidence doesn't back the idea that they're automatically bad." For a related study on how breakups affect your sense of self, and a checklist of readiness signs, see dating again after a breakup.

Two findings that affect other people

Two findings in the summary matter beyond the person who rebounds, because a new partner is on the receiving end. Both are associations, not proven causes.

Revenge as a motive. People who started new relationships quickly were more likely to have wanted to get back at an ex. If part of the reason you're dating is for your ex to find out, the new person is being used as a message, even if you never say so.

Constant comparison. Quick starters compared their new partners with exes more often. That can show up as small remarks ("my ex never did that") or as a quiet scorecard in your head. Either way, the person across the table can feel it.

If you're the one on the rebound

Some things people commonly do, offered as advice rather than rules:

Tell the truth once, early, briefly. "I got out of a relationship a couple of months ago. I'd like to see how this goes, slowly." It's accurate and it lets the other person decide.
Don't promise what you're not sure of. Saying "I'm falling for you" to fill a gap is a way of leading someone on. "I'm enjoying this" is true and enough.
Keep the ex out of the date. One mention is fine. A running commentary isn't.
Notice what you're after. Company, distraction, validation and genuine interest are all human reasons. They lead to different choices, and only the last needs a specific person.
Keep a check on your own habits. If you're checking your ex's socials, drinking more or can't sleep, a few weeks of space might help, or talking to a doctor or counselor if it lasts. How to handle the ex's profile is covered in your ex on social media.

If you're dating someone who might be on the rebound

You can't read this from the outside, and guessing someone's state of mind tends to go badly. You can ask plain questions and listen: "How long ago did it end? What are you looking for right now?" Then notice whether what they say and what they do line up over a few weeks. Dating someone who just got out of a relationship has more on pacing and what to ask.

You're also allowed to decide it's not for you. Some people want to date someone further out from a breakup, and some don't mind. Neither is wrong. If they say they don't know what they want yet, what to do when someone says they aren't ready goes through your options.

What to do next

If you're newly single, write down in two sentences why you want to date right now. If one of them is about your ex, wait a bit.
Decide the line you'll say to a new date about your recent breakup. Keep it under two sentences and have no blame in it.
Catch comparisons. If you notice yourself measuring a date against your ex, treat it as a sign about your readiness, not about your date.
If you're considering dating someone recently single, ask one direct question about what they want, then watch their actions for a few weeks.
For the first weeks after a split, read getting over a breakup as a guy, then come back to this once you're sleeping and eating normally.

Sources

Brumbaugh, C. C., and Fraley, R. C. (2015). "Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships." Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(1), 99-118. DOI 10.1177/0265407514525086. Bibliographic details and an abstract summary were read via Crossref; the SAGE page blocked access, so only the abstract was checked.
DiDonato, T. (2014). "Can a rebound relationship be the real deal?" Psychology Today, Meet, Catch and Keep. A secondary summary of the study. It doesn't report sample sizes or the study's design.