Run Game Conversation

Summer date ideas that aren't just drinks

6 min read

A good summer date is outdoors, relaxed and has a shade or air-conditioning option within walking distance: a farmers market, a picnic, a beach or lake afternoon, an outdoor movie, or a long walk with ice cream. Keep the plan to an hour or two, avoid the hottest part of the day, and have an indoor backup for rain or heat. Drinks on a patio are fine, but they're one option out of many.

For the general list, see first date ideas. This is the summer version, with the sun, the heat and the logistics included.

Why look beyond drinks

Drinks are easy to propose and easy to end, which is the appeal. The limits are that a bar can be loud, that alcohol isn't for everyone and that sitting across a table for two hours doesn't leave much to do with your hands or your attention. A plan with something to look at or do gives you things to talk about without forcing it.

There's some research behind the idea that doing something together helps. Aron and colleagues (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2000) reported, in a summary from the Greater Good Science Center, that in several studies couples who did more exciting activities together felt less bored and rated their relationships as higher quality than couples who did more mundane ones. This is based only on that summary, not the full paper, so sample sizes and details aren't given. It studied couples, not first dates. Treat it as a reason to try something a little different, not a promise.

Ideas

Farmers market. Walk, sample, buy something small and share it. Cost: low. It's open-air, has built-in things to talk about ("What's that?") and ends naturally when you've done a lap. Go in the morning, when it's cooler and less crowded.

Picnic. Pick a park with shade, bring a blanket and simple food, and ask her if she has any allergies or foods she avoids first. Cost: low to moderate. It's more of a second date than a first, since it's a longer stretch with no easy exit. If it's a first meeting, keep it to an hour and bring enough for an actual snack, not a meal.

Beach, lake or river. Great for a walk along the water. Swimming adds more variables (swimsuits, towels, being in the water), so make it optional and don't assume. Pick a public, staffed beach if you can, and check the weather and water conditions.

Outdoor movie or concert in the park. Easy to share, relaxed and fairly cheap. The downside is that you can't talk during the show, so add a walk or a bite before or after.

Ice cream or frozen treat walk. A cheap, classic summer plan. Get a cone and walk through a neighborhood, a main street or a boardwalk.

Mini golf, a bike ride or a rooftop. Light activities with a bit of play. Make sure the other person is comfortable with the activity. A bike ride works best if you both ride regularly.

Sunset hike or a lookout. A short, easy trail in the early evening. Avoid anything long, remote or hard to leave on a first date. Tell a friend where you're going, and bring water.

Free local events. Street fairs, art walks, night markets, summer festivals and community events usually cost little and give you a ready-made topic. Check your city's events page.

Plan around the sun and the heat

You don't need to be a weather expert. A few basics help.

On drinking outdoors in the heat: alcohol is one of the drinks the CDC suggests considering limiting in the heat. Water between drinks is plain good sense. If you're also driving, drinking and dating covers how to handle it.

Plan B for heat, storms and crowds

Summer weather can turn within an hour. Before the date, pick one indoor swap:

Say the switch out loud and lightly: "It's too hot out. Want to move to that ice cream place with AC?" Nobody minds a plan that adjusts.

Cost and comfort for both of you

Summer plans can be very cheap, which is useful. A market and ice cream, a free concert and a walk will do. If something has a cost (tickets, rentals, activity fees), say so when you invite her and don't assume who's paying. Cheap first date ideas has more low-cost options, and who pays on a first date covers that conversation.

Comfort matters too. Some people burn easily, hate heat, can't swim or have pollen allergies. Ask a quick question: "Are you more of a shade person or a sun person?" is a conversation and a plan check in one.

What to do next

  1. Pick one main activity and one air-conditioned backup within a short distance of each other.
  2. Choose a time outside the hottest hours, like 10 a.m. or 5 p.m.
  3. Write the invitation with the plan and length: "Farmers market and ice cream on Saturday morning, about an hour and a half?"
  4. Check the forecast and UV the day before. Pack water, sunscreen and a spare shirt.
  5. Ask if there's anything she avoids (food, water, long walks) before you commit to a plan.
  6. Have the switch line ready for rain, heat or crowds.
  7. End on a high: about 90 minutes in, say you've enjoyed it and either propose a next plan or say goodbye warmly.

The Dates and Where to go topics in the Run Game forum are places to swap summer plans, and winter date ideas has the cold-weather version.

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