Pickup and dating books: what each one teaches
The pickup shelf is smaller than it looks. About a dozen titles, published mostly between the 1990s and 2015, define the genre. Add a handful of general books on charisma and rejection, and you have a solid starting list. Here's what each one covers, so you can match a book to what you're working on.
Quick list
| Book | Author | Year | Main subject |
|---|---|---|---|
| How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed | Ross Jeffries | early 1990s | Speed Seduction and NLP language patterns |
| Double Your Dating | David DeAngelo | 2001 | "Cocky and funny," attraction isn't a choice |
| The Art of Seduction | Robert Greene | 2001 | Historical seducer types |
| The Game | Neil Strauss | 2005 | First-person account of the community |
| How to Be a 3% Man | Corey Wayne | 2006 | Short approaches, asking for the date, the kiss test |
| The Mystery Method | Mystery with Chris Odom | 2007 | Phases, DHV, group approaches |
| Bang | Roosh V | 2007 | Pickup technique for travel |
| Rules of the Game | Neil Strauss | 2007 | How-to follow-up to The Game |
| Models | Mark Manson | 2011 | Non-neediness and honesty |
| The Natural | Richard La Ruina | 2012 | Body language, openers, eye contact, first touch |
| Get the Guy | Matthew Hussey | 2013 | Dating advice written for women |
| Charisma on Command | Charlie Houpert | 2014 | Conviction, energy, and presentation |
| The Truth | Neil Strauss | 2015 | Relationships after the pickup years |
| Rejection Proof | Jia Jiang | 2015 | 100 days of deliberate rejection |
From the pickup world
Speed Seduction (Ross Jeffries). Neuro-linguistic programming applied to dating: language patterns, anchoring, and leading someone's imagination. It's the oldest material on the list. See Ross Jeffries and Speed Seduction.
Double Your Dating (David DeAngelo, 2001). A 92-page e-book written in about three weeks. Its two ideas are that attraction is an automatic reaction rather than a decision, and that a mix of mock arrogance and humor ("cocky and funny") triggers it. See David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating.
The Game (Neil Strauss, 2005). A memoir rather than a manual: Strauss's time as "Style," the workshops, and the Los Angeles house. See Neil Strauss and The Game.
How to Be a 3% Man (Corey Wayne, 2006). Covers keeping approaches short, setting a date and moving on, using the phone for setting dates, and a "kiss test" of lingering eye contact. See Corey Wayne.
The Mystery Method (2007). The most structured of the books, with attraction, comfort, and seduction phases, DHVs, and group tactics. See Mystery and the Mystery Method.
Bang (Roosh V, 2007). The first of more than a dozen self-published guides, many country-specific, combining local nightlife tips with pickup technique. See Roosh V.
Models (Mark Manson, 2011). Argues that neediness, caring more about others' opinions of you than your own, is the real obstacle. It lists three areas of work: build a life you like, act despite fear, and express yourself honestly. The official page says it has sold over 300,000 copies. See Mark Manson's Models and the honest approach.
The Natural (Richard La Ruina, 2012). A step-by-step guide to body language, conversation starters, eye contact, and the first touch, from the founder of PUATraining. See Richard La Ruina.
The Truth (Neil Strauss, 2015). Published by Dey Street Books. It follows Strauss after the pickup years as he tries to build a committed relationship.
Rules of the Game (2007). Strauss's practical follow-up to The Game, written as a how-to.
Outside the genre
Get the Guy (Matthew Hussey, 2013). A New York Times bestseller written for women, which makes it a useful look at the other side of the conversation. See Matthew Hussey.
The Art of Seduction (Robert Greene, 2001). Profiles seducer types such as the Siren, the Rake, the Ideal Lover, and the Dandy. See Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction.
Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang, 2015). Jiang set out to be rejected on purpose every day for 100 days. The book lays out what happened. It pairs well with rejection therapy.
How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie, 1936). Being genuinely interested in others, remembering names, and letting people talk about what they care about.
The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane, 2012). Argues charisma is a set of learnable behaviors, broken into presence, power, and warmth.
Charisma on Command (Charlie Houpert, 2014). Based on the YouTube channel; includes a 30-day action plan.
Attached (Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, 2010). A guide to adult attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant), most useful once you're dating someone.
Pick by goal
These pairings are suggestions based on what each book says it covers, not a ranking.
| Goal | Start with |
|---|---|
| Nerves about starting conversations | Rejection Proof |
| Being less needy | Models |
| Structure for conversations | The Mystery Method |
| Understanding the history | The Game, then The Truth |
| Presence and warmth | The Charisma Myth |
| Body language and openers | The Natural |
What to do next
- Pick one book from the goal table. One, not three.
- Read 20 pages a day. At 20 pages a day, a 300-page book takes 15 days.
- Underline one idea per chapter you could try in a real conversation. Write each as one sentence on your phone.
- Test one idea per week. Run it for at least 5 conversations before judging it.
- Log in Run Game as Success or Rejected, and note which idea you tried. After 3 weeks, keep what changed how conversations felt.