Loneliness in your 20s: what actually helps

If you're lonely in your 20s, you're in large company. A common piece of advice is to make small, repeated changes instead of waiting for one big fix. This post covers that, but first, what the numbers do and don't say.

What the surveys say

In May 2025, Gallup published an analysis of its World Poll data from 2023 and 2024. In the US, 25% of men aged 15 to 34 said they felt lonely "a lot of the previous day." The figure was 18% for young US women and 18% for US adults overall. The median for younger men across OECD countries was 15%.

Some limits matter here. The age band runs from 15 to 34, wider than your 20s. It's a single question about one day, asked by phone of roughly 1,000 adults a year, so the age-and-gender subgroups are small. Gallup reports a margin of error of plus or minus 3.1 points for the full US samples but not for those subgroups. It has only measured loneliness globally since 2023, so it can't say whether things are getting worse. And these are group averages. They tell you nothing about any one person, including you.

The US Surgeon General's 2023 advisory, "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation," points the same direction at a wider scale. It says recent surveys have found that approximately half of US adults report experiencing loneliness, with some of the highest rates among young adults, and that certain declines in social connection have been going on for decades. It also notes that exact estimates are hard to pin down because studies vary in which indicator they measure. Different surveys give different percentages, but they agree that feeling disconnected is common.

Alone and lonely aren't the same

Some people spend most of a week by themselves and feel fine. Others sit in a full group chat and feel invisible. The Surgeon General's advisory describes loneliness as a subjective internal state, and isolation as being about the number and quality of your interactions. One way to think about loneliness is as a gap between the connection you have and the connection you want. That gives two ways to work on it: add contact, or add depth.

Contact is usually the easier one to start. Depth tends to take longer, because it comes from repeated time with the same people. The make friends as an adult guy article covers the research on how many hours that takes.

What tends to help

None of this is a prescription. These are common, practical approaches, and what works varies by person.

Pick one weekly thing with the same people

A weekly class, league, volunteer shift, climbing night or run club works better than a different event every week, because you see the same faces. By week three you're a regular. By week six someone asks if you're coming Saturday. If you've moved recently, how to meet people in a new city lays out a first-month plan.

Make one specific invite a week

"We should catch up" rarely turns into a plan. "Want to grab tacos Thursday at 7?" does. Send it to someone you already know, even if you haven't spoken in a year. Many people are glad to get one. Some won't reply. That's normal and says little about you.

Keep the friends you already have

Many adult friendships fade from lack of scheduling rather than from a falling-out. A standing call, a monthly dinner or a shared game night keeps things alive without effort every time. See how to keep friendships going.

Count the low-key contact too

A voice call, a gaming session with friends online, a hobby Discord with regulars: these count. They don't replace being in a room with people for everyone, but for some, especially when moving or working remotely, they're a real part of the mix. Many people find a mix of sources holds up better than any single one.

Look at the basics

Sleep, daylight, movement and meals can change how a social situation feels. A rule of thumb: if you've been skipping all four, it's worth fixing them before judging how social you "really" are.

Loneliness and dating

Dating is one source of connection among several. If a girlfriend is your only plan for feeling less alone, a rejection may feel enormous, because it carries all the weight. A fuller week with friends, a regular activity and a few people who know your name can make a no easier to absorb, and some people find it makes conversations easier because they aren't showing up needing approval. For more on that, see how to stop needing approval.

It also works the other way. The places that fix loneliness (clubs, classes, run groups, friends of friends) are also where many people meet partners. You don't need to treat them as dating events. Show up for the thing itself.

When it's more than loneliness

The Surgeon General's advisory says loneliness is associated with a higher risk of anxiety and depression. If you've felt flat for weeks, your sleep or appetite has changed, you've lost interest in things you liked, or you're avoiding people because it feels like too much, talk to a doctor or a counselor. That's an ordinary next step, not an overreaction. If you're shy to the point that it limits your life, social anxiety or shyness explains how to tell the difference.

If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, in the US you can call or text 988 or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. The 988 Lifeline says it's free, confidential and available 24/7. Outside the US, look up your country's crisis line or go to your local emergency number.

Where Run Game fits

If part of what you want is people to go out with, Run Game has a Friends tab, a Map where "Near you" shows plans to go out within 50 miles (you can post your own or ask to join), and forum city boards. It's one option among many. A club or class gets you the same result.

What to do next

Choose one recurring activity this week. Put the first session on your calendar with a day and time. Commit to four visits before deciding if it's for you.
Send one specific invite today. Name a day, a place and a time. Example: "Want to get food Saturday around 6?" Aim for one a week for a month.
Reply to one conversation you've let drop. A short text with a question works: "How did the move go?"
Set one standing contact. A weekly call, a Sunday game session or a monthly dinner with one friend.
Write down your week's contacts. Count the number of times you spoke with someone for ten minutes or more. Do it for two weeks, then try to add one.
Check in with yourself at the 30-day mark. If you feel the same or worse despite the effort, or if things feel heavy, book a visit with a doctor or counselor.