Dating app red flags in profiles and chats

The dating app red flags most worth taking seriously are the ones the US Federal Trade Commission lists as romance-scam warning signs: asking you to move off the app quickly, declaring strong feelings early, always having a reason they can't meet or video chat, and any request for money. Other flags, like ignoring a no or pushing you to meet somewhere private, are about how someone treats you. A flag isn't proof. It's a reason to slow down and check.

How common are bad experiences?

Pew Research Center surveyed 6,034 US adults on July 5 to 17, 2022. Among people who'd used dating sites or apps:

• 52% said they had come across someone they thought was trying to scam them. By group: 63% of men under 50, 47% of men 50 and older, and 44% of women of any age.
• 38% had been sent a sexually explicit message or image they didn't ask for.
• 30% had continued to be contacted by someone after saying they weren't interested.
• 6% had been threatened with physical harm.

Pew reported that unwanted experiences like the last three are more common among women under 50 (56% for unsolicited explicit content, 43% for continued contact, 11% for threats of physical harm). It reported these experiences as less common among older women and among men, and the page gives no exact figures for those groups. These are self-reported experiences, in the US, in 2022, and the scam question asked what people thought, not what was confirmed.

So scams and bad behavior reach people of all genders, in different forms and amounts. That's the reason to check everyone the same way.

Red flags that point to a scam

The FTC's guidance on romance scams (published August 2022) lists these signs:

• Someone you met on a dating app wants to move to email, calls or another messaging app quickly.
• They declare strong feelings early, often while living far away for work or military service.
• They chat often, sometimes several times a day, to build trust.
• They can't meet in person and give a reason such as living or traveling abroad, working on an oil rig or being in the military.
• They ask for money for medical expenses, a plane ticket to visit you, fees to get out of trouble, or an investment (including cryptocurrency).
• They pressure you to pay right away.

The FTC says scammers ask for payment by wire transfer, gift cards (with the PINs sent to them), money-transfer apps or cryptocurrency. Its core rule is to never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person.

For more on how these scams run and what to do afterward, see catfishing and romance scams.

Red flags in a profile

None of these prove anything alone. Real people have thin profiles, privacy concerns or bad photos. Look for patterns.

• Photos that don't fit together. The FTC suggests running a reverse image search on a profile photo. If the same photo appears under other names or with different details, that's a warning sign.
• Details that don't add up. The job, city or age shifts between the profile and the chat, or the stories contradict each other.
• No live contact, ever. As a rule of thumb, someone who wants to meet can often manage a short video call or a quick plan sooner or later. Some people are nervous about video, so one "no" isn't a verdict. Weeks of excuses is a pattern.
• A profile built to move you elsewhere. A link or handle in the bio or first message pushing you off the app is worth a second look.

Red flags in a chat

These are about behavior, and they matter even if the person is real. They come from general safety practice, not the FTC page.

• Ignoring a no. If you say you're not interested or you want to slow down and they keep going, that's a boundary being crossed. In the Pew survey, 30% of past users had this happen.
• Pressure. Pushing for photos, a private location, a fast meeting, or a decision "right now."
• Sudden intensity. Love, big promises or "I've never felt this way" within days. Strong feelings can be real, and moving fast is a reason to pay attention.
• Anger when you slow down. Insults, guilt or silence as punishment after you say no or ask for time.
• Sad stories with a price tag. A crisis that ends in a request for money. The FTC advice is to stop and talk to someone you trust.
• Sexual content you didn't ask for. You can stop replying, block and report.

When you spot one

1. Stop and slow down. You don't owe a reply to someone who is pushing you.
2. Never send money. That includes gift cards, transfers and crypto, to anyone you haven't met in person.
3. Check what you can. Reverse image search the photos. Search their job plus "scammer," as the FTC suggests.
4. Tell someone. The FTC says to talk to a friend or family member you trust.
5. Block and report on the app. If you've paid a scammer, contact your bank or the payment company right away and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.

If you do decide to meet someone, meeting someone from online safely and first date safety cover public places, telling a friend and having your own way home.

Don't be the red flag

The same list works as a mirror. A clear profile, honest details, a willingness to do a short video call, accepting a no on the first try and never raising money are the things that make other people comfortable. Dating app profile tips covers the profile side, and chatfishing covers messages that may not be written by the person sending them.

What to do next

1. Reverse image search the photos of anyone you're about to chat with seriously.
2. Pick your own line now, for example: "I keep chatting on the app until we've met."
3. Suggest a short video call or a coffee within the first few days of chatting.
4. Agree with yourself that any money request ends the chat, no matter the story.
5. Save the FTC reporting address (ReportFraud.ftc.gov) in your notes.
6. Before a first meetup, tell a friend the name, place and time.
7. After each chat that felt off, note what it was, so you spot patterns over time.

Sources

• Federal Trade Commission (August 2022). "What you need to know about romance scams." Warning signs, payment methods, steps to take and how to report. The page gives no loss statistics.
• Pew Research Center (2023). "Key findings about online dating in the U.S." Survey of 6,034 US adults, fielded July 5 to 17, 2022. Self-reported experiences of people who'd used dating sites or apps. The size of the user subgroup isn't given.