Run Game People

Tom Torero and the rise of daygame

Updated 4 min read

Tom Torero is one of the names most tied to daygame, the practice of approaching women in the daytime on the street. His teaching has a clear center: open with statements instead of questions, act as if you already know her, and let her do most of the talking.

Newsweek reported that his real name was Tom Ralis, that he was a former elementary school teacher from Wales, and that he was a prominent figure among London's daygamers.

His books and courses

Torero's book Daygame was first published on January 1, 2012, according to Goodreads. It collects field reports and advice from his street approaches. He also sold a video course, Conversation King, along with other daygame books and courses. The conversation method below comes from that course, as summarized on ThePowerMoves.

What he taught about conversation

Statements before questions. Torero's course warns against "questioning mode," where each line you say is a question and the woman becomes an interviewee. Instead, you make a statement about her or the environment before you ask a question. A made-up example of the idea: instead of "Where are you headed?", try "You look like you're on a mission to find the best coffee in this street."

Act as if you've met before. The summary says to assume familiarity: from the moment you stop her, pretend you met through a social circle and you're at a house party.

Let her speak the most. She should do most of the talking, and the topic should be 90 percent about her. Torero's suggestions for keeping her going include open-ended questions and taking your time before you reply.

Explore past, present, and future. Torero suggests exploring her past, present, and future. If she mentions a trip, you could ask about the last one she took, what she's doing this weekend, and where she wants to go next. That gives you three threads from one topic. It pairs well with conversation threading.

Disagree. Disagreement is one of the conversation techniques the course lists.

Switch the environment. The course lists an "environment switch": using interesting surroundings. Moving to a new spot can also lead into an instant date.

Prepare your answers. Torero suggests preparing a short introduction and answers to the most common questions before you go out.

Body language. The summary lists good body language, staying positive, keeping eye contact, and not going up in pitch at the end of sentences. See confident body language.

Approach and timing notes

In reader replies on a 2020 alphamale20 post, Torero said that anything under 5 minutes has a high flake rate and that the best interactions run around 7 to 10 minutes. He also said instant dates are good practice for beginners but make little difference to the end result if the street conversation is solid. For how this fits into a full approach, see day game.

What Newsweek reported in 2021

Newsweek reported in November 2021 (published November 12 and updated November 16) that leaked material it reviewed from the paywalled Black Sheep Bandit website appeared to show Ralis secretly recording himself having sex with women, content offered to men who paid for his coaching courses. It listed membership levels starting at $99 and a course package valued at $299.

Newsweek also reported what happened after it contacted technology companies. Kajabi and MailChimp said they had closed his accounts, and PayPal shut down his donation fund. Ralis took down his own YouTube channels before YouTube acted, and some of his books were removed from Amazon and Lulu, though Newsweek said it wasn't clear by whom. According to Newsweek, he did not respond to its request for comment.

What to take from Torero

  1. Write three statement openers before you go out. Base each on something visible: her bag, the weather, the place. Example: "That's the most confident coat on this street." Use one on each approach and drop the question until she's talking.
  2. Cap your questions. For the first 60 seconds, ask at most one. Fill the rest with observations.
  3. Prepare your intro. Write a two-sentence answer to "What do you do?" and "Where are you from?" and say it aloud twice.
  4. Aim for 7 to 10 minutes of conversation before you ask for a number. Check the time on your phone after the approach and log the length.
  5. Use the three-tense question. With one topic, ask a past, a present, and a future question.
  6. Log each one in Run Game. Mark what you opened with and whether you used a statement. A no, or her walking on, means you thank her and stop.

Sources