Run Game People

Real Social Dynamics and the rise of the pickup bootcamp

Updated 4 min read

One of the most lasting things Real Social Dynamics sold wasn't a technique. It was a format: learn to talk to people by talking to people, in real places, with a coach beside you giving feedback. Many dating coaching companies that followed used the same format.

Where RSD came from

Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, was founded in Los Angeles in the early 2000s by two instructors who went by forum names: Owen Cook, a Canadian known as "Tyler Durden," and Nick Kho, known as "Papa." Sources differ on whether the founding year was 2002 or 2003.

Both founders became widely known through Neil Strauss's The Game (2005). They lived with Strauss and Mystery at "Project Hollywood," the Los Angeles mansion at the center of the book. According to the book, Papa and Tyler were meant to teach Mystery's method, then went off-script and developed their own ideas, including "AMOGing," a way of dealing with the dominant man in a group. Their company went on to run seminars of its own. Read more in Neil Strauss and The Game, Owen Cook (Tyler Durden), and Nick Kho (Papa).

What a bootcamp was

An archived Wikipedia description from the mid-2000s lays out the format:

Bootcamps ran in cities across the US and abroad. RSD also sold DVD sets, audio programs, and superconferences where Cook presented his ideas, and later posted seminar footage online.

The model behind it

The format's appeal comes down to three mechanisms, as its supporters describe them.

Forced action. Reading about approaching is comfortable. A coach standing next to you saying "go now" is not.

Feedback in the moment. Do you mumble, turn your body away, stand too far back? Someone watching can tell you in ten seconds what you might not notice in a year.

Volume. Approaching many people in a weekend means being turned down many times. That's the same principle as rejection therapy.

Instructors who went independent

Several RSD instructors later started their own brands. Todd Valentine, a former RSD instructor, now runs Todd V Dating with live coaching and a daygame course; see Todd Valentine and Real Life Dating. Julien Blanc was an RSD instructor until his 2014 visa bans; see Julien Blanc and the 2014 visa bans.

Documented events from 2014

In November 2014, Australia cancelled Julien Blanc's visa, the UK refused him one, and Singapore barred him. That same month Global News reported on an undated RSD seminar video in which Owen Cook described a sexual encounter with a woman he said did not want it. According to Global News, Cook removed the video from YouTube and had not been charged with a crime.

Afterward RSD deleted a large amount of YouTube content, and many of its coaches built their own brands.

What to do next

You can reproduce the bootcamp format with a friend and a weekend.

  1. Pick a time and place in advance. "Saturday, 2 to 4 p.m., the farmers market" beats "sometime this weekend."
  2. Bring a partner. Post a plan on the Map's Near you in Run Game or ask a friend. Agree beforehand that each of you will start at least 3 conversations and that the other will give honest feedback.
  3. Set an effort goal. 3 conversations started is a good afternoon whatever happens in them.
  4. Debrief for ten minutes right after. What went well, what felt awkward, and one thing to try next time. Write it down while it's fresh.
  5. Log every approach in Run Game as Success or Rejected, then post the debrief as a field report in the forum for outside feedback. How to write a field report shows the format.
  6. Repeat weekly for a month. Four sessions of 3 to 5 conversations beats one intense weekend.
  7. If someone isn't interested, you stop. A short "nice to meet you" and you move on.

Sources