How to rizz your crush over text

To rizz your crush over text, make her smile, then make a plan. "Rizz" is slang for charm, mostly the flirting kind, and on a screen it comes down to a few small habits: being specific, being a little playful, and not trying too hard. This is for someone you already know, like a classmate, a coworker or a friend of a friend. If you just got a number from a stranger, start with what to text after you get a number.

If you've searched "how to rizz up your crush" or "how to rizz a girl up with words," you're probably after the same thing: what do I actually type? So most of this is examples.

Know what text can and can't do

Text has no voice, no face and no pause. A joke that works across a table can read as cold on a phone. So your job in a chat isn't to prove you're smooth. It's to keep it easy and warm, and to get to the part where you hang out in person.

That means short, light and specific. A crush who's enjoying the chat will answer quickly and ask you things back. If you're doing all the work, signs of interest will help you read where you stand.

Tease, lightly

Teasing is one way to sound like yourself. The rule is to poke at something harmless that she'd laugh at herself, never at something she's sensitive about. More on this in playful teasing and banter that lands.

Her: "I just spent 40 minutes picking a playlist for a 10 minute walk." You: "Incredible commitment. Is there a soundtrack for the walk back too?"

Her: "I'm so tired, I got three hours of sleep." You: "Okay, I'm going to need a full report on what was worth losing sleep over."

Notice that each reply picks up what she said and adds a bit of humor. Neither one says anything about her looks.

Use callbacks

A callback is a reference to something she said or something you shared earlier. It shows her you listen.

You: "Did the group project survive, or is the Chaos Committee still in charge?"

You: "I just saw a guy with the same terrible hat you described. I thought of you."

Keep a small note of things she mentions: her exams, a show she's into, her dog's name. Then bring them up a day or two later. This works because it's real attention, not a trick.

Compliments that are specific

"You're so pretty" is fine, but it's a common message. A specific compliment about something she did or chose is harder to ignore.

• "Your taste in music is annoyingly good. I've had that song on repeat since you showed me."
• "The way you explained that to the whole table was impressive. I'd have lost them in a minute."
• "Your laugh in that voice note made my morning."

One compliment, then move on. Three in a row starts to look like you want something back right now.

Match her energy, length and emojis

If she writes a line, you write a line or two. If she sends a paragraph and three questions, you can answer properly. Matching isn't a game. It's how you avoid looking bored or overeager.

On emojis, mirror what she uses. If she sends none, don't send five. One that fits the joke is plenty. And skip anything meant to be sexy. A winky face doesn't turn a bland message into flirting.

Reply speed works the same way. Answering within minutes is fine if you're free. You don't need to wait an hour to look busy, and you don't need to answer in four seconds every time.

A full example chat

You: "Update on the stray cat situation: he's now on my porch every morning like he pays rent." Her: "Stop, that's so cute. Does he have a name?" You: "Not yet. He looks like a Gary." Her: "He is NOT a Gary. He's a Biscuit." You: "Biscuit. Fine. You're clearly the better namer. Want to get coffee Saturday and tell me what else I've been getting wrong?" Her: "Haha okay, Saturday could work." You: "Great. 2 at the place on Main?"

Look at the moves: a story, a question back to her, a joke, a small disagreement, an invitation, a specific time once she said yes. That's the whole pattern.

When to move to a call or a plan

You don't need weeks of texting. If a chat has been going well for a few days, or has had a good back-and-forth, suggest meeting. Texting is for building a bit of warmth, not for replacing a date.

• If you're good friends: "Want to grab food after class on Thursday?"
• If you're not sure yet: "I'd rather hear this story out loud. Free for a quick coffee this week?"
• If you want a lower-pressure option: a 20-minute walk or a drink. Micro-dates cover it.

Offer a day and a place. "We should hang out sometime" gives her nothing to say yes to. If she says she's busy, give it one more try with a different day. If she doesn't offer an alternative, let it rest. For help phrasing the ask, see how to ask someone out.

What not to do

• Walls of text. Anything longer than a few lines becomes homework. Split it up or save it for a call.
• Double or triple texting. One message, then wait. If she hasn't answered in a day, one light follow-up is okay. A string of "?" and "hello??" isn't.
• Sexual messages out of nowhere. If she hasn't flirted back in that direction, don't. It makes most people uncomfortable, and if she says no or goes quiet, stop.
• Interviews. Ten questions in a row feels like a form. Mix in statements and jokes.
• Heavy feelings over text. A big confession belongs in person or on a call.

If she's replying with one word, that's covered in how to text a girl without being boring.

What to do next

1. Open a note on your phone and write three things she's told you recently. Those are your callbacks.
2. Send one message today that refers to one of them and ends in a question or a joke.
3. Look at her last five messages. Count her average length and aim for about that.
4. Write one specific compliment about something she did, not how she looks. Send it only if it's true.
5. After two or three good exchanges, propose a day, a time and a place. Example: "Coffee Thursday at 4?"
6. If she says no, stop there. If she just doesn't answer, one light follow-up at most, then let it go.

Keep track

If you meet people in person, Run Game Stats shows an outcome funnel from got number to texted, date set and went on a date. The forum's Texting topic is there if you want a second opinion on a chat before you send it.