From pickup lines to authenticity: what to say instead

One common way to tell the story of dating advice for men is in three phases: memorized lines, scripted routines, and plain honesty. The current version is a simple place to start, and it fits in one sentence. Tell her why you walked over, using something you can see right now.

Here's how the advice got there, then the exact lines and a drill to practice them.

The timeline in five dates

Year	What happened
1970	Eric Weber publishes How to Pick Up Girls!, an early landmark that treated meeting women as a learnable skill
Late 1980s	Ross Jeffries starts teaching Speed Seduction, built on neuro-linguistic programming. See Ross Jeffries and Speed Seduction
1994	The Usenet group alt.seduction.fast lets men pool techniques, and routines get elaborate
2005 to 2007	Neil Strauss's The Game (2005), The Mystery Method (2006), and VH1's The Pickup Artist (2007) take system-based pickup mainstream. See Neil Strauss and The Game
2011	Mark Manson self-publishes Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. See Mark Manson's Models

Two later events marked the shift. In November 2014, Julien Blanc was refused entry to the UK and had his Australian visa revoked after his seminar material drew public complaints. In 2015, Strauss published The Truth and wrote a Slate piece looking back at The Game ten years on. For the wider story, see a short history of the pickup community.

What the honest approach teaches

Manson's argument in Models was that you do better by being upfront about your interest and not needing every person to say yes. Coaches outside the pickup scene say something similar. Advice reported by TODAY on pickup lines puts it this way: nobody goes home with you because you repeated a sentence you read online, and a personalized question or compliment beats a generic line.

Todd Valentine, who came out of RSD, adds a practical layer. He tells beginners to pick one simple opener and reuse it until the nerves settle. He tells everyone to think in "opening ideas" for the first 30 seconds, since the words matter less than your tone and how you adjust to her reaction. Both ideas show up in his writing at toddvdating.com.

Lines to use

Todd V's own beginner openers are short and direct:

"Hey, excuse me."
"Hey, you're really cute. I wanted to come and say hi."

Observation lines work the same way. Name something specific, then ask about it:

"Is that a good book? I've been looking for something to read."
"I saw you from over there and wanted to say hello. I'm Sam."
"That's a great jacket. Where did you find it?"
Situational: "Do you know if this place does food, or just coffee?"

The pattern is three parts. A true observation, a reason you came over, and a question she can answer in one sentence.

Delivery matters more than the wording

The TODAY advice lists the delivery basics: hold eye contact, smile for real, keep your tone light, and say lines that suit your own personality. If a line doesn't sound like you, you'll stumble on it. Say each one out loud three times before you use it, and rewrite any word you wouldn't normally say. Openers that work breaks down more examples. Hold eye contact for the whole opener, then let your gaze relax while she answers.

Common mistakes and fixes

Mistake	Fix
Reciting a joke line you found online	Replace it with something you can see: a book, a jacket, the queue
Memorizing a full routine	Memorize only the first sentence. Improvise the rest from her answers
Complimenting something generic ("You're pretty")	Name one specific detail, or say why you came over
Switching openers every time	Use one opener for your first 10 approaches so you can judge delivery, not wording
Agreeing with everything she says	Give one real opinion per conversation, lightly
Hiding your interest	Say it once, early: "I wanted to meet you"

A 10-approach drill

Pick one opener from the list above and write it in your phone.
Use it for 10 approaches in a row, with the same wording each time.
Log each as Success or Rejected.
After 10, change one thing only: your tone, your first question, or your eye contact. Run 10 more.

Switching one variable at a time shows you what changed. Warming up before you go out helps with the first few attempts.

What to do next

Write three observation lines for places you visit weekly: your gym, your coffee shop, your commute.
Today, say "Hey, excuse me" to one stranger and ask a direct question. Directions count.
For the next 10 approaches, use one opener only and record the wording in your Run Game log notes.
In each conversation, share one real opinion within the first three minutes.
After 10 approaches, review your log and pick the single thing to change for the next 10.

If she says no or turns away, "No worries, have a good night" is the whole reply. Then walk off.

Run Game lets you log each approach and see your streak, so the drill above takes about 10 seconds per entry.