Flirty questions to ask a girl (that aren't cringe)
The best flirty questions to ask a girl are playful, a little personal and easy to answer. They give her something to be funny or opinionated about, and they say "I'm curious about you" without a speech. What follows are 30 of them, sorted by where you're asking.
One thing before the list. A question is only as good as what you do after the answer.
Why questions work, and where they stop
Karen Huang, Michael Yeomans, Alison Wood Brooks, Julia Minson and Francesca Gino published a set of studies in 2017 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. They found that people who asked more questions in live conversations were better liked by their partners, and that people don't expect that. In the speed-dating part of the work, people who asked more questions were more likely to have their partner agree to a second date, and a higher rate of follow-up questions helped explain why.
Those results come from get-to-know-you chats and speed dates, and the speed-dating outcome was one behavior, agreeing to a second date. It doesn't say any particular question works. It is consistent with a simple habit: ask, then ask about the answer.
How to ask so it doesn't feel like an interview
- Ask one, share one. After she answers, give your own answer in a sentence or two. A string of questions with nothing back feels like a form.
- Follow up on a detail. If she says she's picky about pizza, ask what the perfect one looks like. This is where the conversation gets real. Conversation threading covers the habit.
- Smile and slow down. The same question can sound warm or like an audit.
- Read the response. If she's laughing and asking you things back, keep going. If she's giving one-word answers, change the topic or wrap up.
- Skip anything sexual with someone you just met. A new match or a stranger hasn't agreed to that conversation. Keep it playful and let her set the pace.
In person, with someone new (8)
These work as a second or third line after an opener, when you want things to get lighter.
- "Be honest, are you the planner in your friend group or the one who says 'I'm easy'?"
- "What's the one thing you'd defend to the death that other people think is weird?"
- "Do you have a go-to order that the staff already knows?"
- "What's a small thing that instantly improves your day?"
- "Are you a big night out person or a perfect night in person?"
- "What's something you're weirdly good at?"
- "Do you trust people who don't like pizza?"
- "What's your most unpopular opinion about a food?"
In person, with someone you already know a bit (6)
For a classmate, a gym regular, a friend of a friend. These carry a bit more warmth.
- "What's the best thing that happened to you this week?"
- "If I were planning a day for you, what would be on it?"
- "What's your karaoke song, and how bad is it?"
- "When was the last time you laughed so hard it hurt?"
- "What's a small thing you secretly love that you'd never admit to?"
- "What's the last thing you did just because it sounded fun?"
Over text (8)
Texts have no tone of voice, so these are short and light, and each is easy to answer in a line. How to rizz over text covers the rest of the habits.
- "Settle something for me: breakfast for dinner, yes or no?"
- "What song are you stuck on right now?"
- "Quick, best snack in the world. Go."
- "What was the last thing you watched that you'd tell people to see?"
- "On a scale of one to ten, how chaotic was your day?"
- "What's one thing on your list for this weekend?"
- "Okay, hot take time. What's yours?"
- "What would your 'I'm tired' playlist look like?"
If the replies are short and slow, that's information too.
Playful hypotheticals (4)
These suit a second conversation or a date. They're meant to be silly.
- "If we had to start a business together tomorrow, what would it be?"
- "You've got 48 hours and a free flight. Where are you?"
- "What's the first thing you'd buy if you won a small lottery?"
- "If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who's at the table?"
On a date, a little more personal (4)
Ask these after you've both warmed up. They're flirty because they show you're curious about her, not because they're suggestive.
- "What's the best compliment you ever got?"
- "What do you do when you want to impress someone?"
- "What's the first thing you notice about a person?"
- "What would make this the best date you've been on?"
More for a first meeting are in first date questions.
Questions to skip
- Anything about her body or about sex, early on.
- Tests like "would you date a guy who..." can come across as fishing for reassurance.
- "Why are you single?" It can sound like a verdict.
- Rapid-fire lists. Several in a row without a response in between feels like an interview.
- Questions you wouldn't answer yourself. If it's too personal for you, it is for her.
A tip for the answer
The question does half the work. The other half is the reply. Use the answer to tease a little or to share something of your own: "Karaoke is a lot. I'd pick a song everyone knows and hope the room sings louder than I do." Then ask her something connected. For lines on the teasing side, see playful teasing and banter and how to flirt in person.
What to do next
- Pick five questions from this list that sound like you. Rewrite each in your own words so you'd say it without thinking.
- Use one in a normal conversation today, with anyone. You're practicing the delivery.
- After every answer, ask one follow-up about a detail she gave you before moving to a new question.
- For the next week, answer your own question first when it fits: "I'm a terrible planner. You?"
- When you text, keep it to one question per message and wait for her reply before sending another.
- Track which questions got long, fun answers in your notes and drop the ones that got blank looks.
If you log approaches in Run Game, add a note on which question you asked and how she reacted. After a few weeks you can see which ones worked for you.