Run Game Conversation

How to stop saying "um" and talk more clearly

6 min read

Replace the "um" with a short, silent pause, slow down a little, and practice by recording yourself. You won't get to zero, and you don't need to. A few filler words per minute are normal speech, so the realistic goal is fewer of them and shorter gaps when your brain is still catching up.

What filler words are doing

"Um" and "uh" are called filled pauses. People use them when they're choosing a word, planning the next sentence, or deciding whether to say something. Nearly everyone produces them. You tend to notice your own because you're listening for them.

Research is mixed on whether they hurt you, which is useful to know before you try to ban them.

Put together: an occasional "um" doesn't look like a problem. Heavy use is the part some listeners reportedly react to. That's a reason to aim for control, not perfection.

Why you say "um" more in some moments

Three triggers come up again and again:

If nerves are the main cause, work on the nerves first. Calm your body with breathing and visualization covers that, and shaky voice and sweaty hands goes through the physical side.

The core fix: pause instead of fill

A pause is silence with intent. To many listeners, a one-second pause can sound like thinking, while the same second filled with "uh, so, um" can sound like searching. (That's a common coaching view, not a tested finding.)

How to practice it:

  1. Find where the pause belongs. Between sentences, before a key word, after a question. Commas and full stops are natural places.
  2. Close your mouth. If your lips are closed, you can't say "um." It's a simple physical cue that some people find helps.
  3. Breathe in during the pause. A breath fills the gap, gives you air for the next sentence, and slows you down.
  4. Let it be a bit too long. What feels like a long pause to you often sounds shorter to the listener.

Slow down by 10 percent

Most filler words come from running ahead of yourself. You don't need to speak slowly, just a little slower than your panic speed. A rule of thumb: finish your thought in your head by the time you're halfway through the sentence you're saying. That gives your mouth a lead.

Keep sentences shorter, too. A 30-word sentence has many places to get stuck. Two 12-word ones have a built-in pause.

Record yourself (it's uncomfortable, and it works)

Hearing yourself is the fastest way to find your pattern.

The one-minute drill

Do this for one week, not forever. The goal is awareness, and once you can hear your own habit, you start to catch it live.

Three more drills

Don't police yourself in the moment

During a real conversation, watching your own mouth makes you more self-conscious, which makes you um more. Do the drills alone, then let the conversation be messy. If you catch one live, move on. The point of a conversation is the other person, not a clean transcript. If your mind tends to go blank, when your mind goes blank has lines to buy time that sound natural.

Other habits that help

For the bigger picture of how you sound, your voice matters more than your words covers pace, pitch and tone.

What to do next

  1. Record a 60-second memo today. Count your fillers and write the number down.
  2. Run the one-minute drill 3 times a day for 5 days, replacing each filler with a closed-mouth pause.
  3. Try answer-first on your next 5 conversations: the answer, then the detail.
  4. Read one page aloud each day, pausing at every full stop.
  5. Re-record on day 7 and compare. If the count has dropped, stop the daily drill and move on.

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