Run Game Approaching

How to meet people at a climbing gym

6 min read

Climbing gyms are good places to meet people because talking is built into the sport. Climbers hang around the same problems, watch each other try, and trade tips. The easiest way in is to ask a specific question about a route after someone has finished it, take a beginner class, and go to a community night. Be a regular for a few weeks and friendships form first. Dating, if it comes, comes later.

Why climbing gyms work

Bouldering especially has a rhythm: climb for a minute or two, then rest for several while others take their turn. That rest time is for chatting, watching and cheering. You're standing at the same wall, looking at the same problem, so you already share something to say.

A few other features help:

It isn't ideal for everyone. Gyms can be loud and busy, and some people want to climb undisturbed. Respecting that is part of the etiquette.

When to talk and when to leave people alone

This is the main skill. Gym etiquette guides cover most of this. The first point is common sense rather than a published rule.

Treat it as a simple rule of thumb: talk to people when they're resting, not when they're climbing, and let them lead on whether they want advice.

Asking for route tips as an opener

Asking about a route works because it's about the climb, easy to answer and easy to wrap up. Some lines that fit:

Rules for making it land well:

  1. Wait until the person is off the wall and resting. Someone who just topped the problem is the natural person to ask.
  2. Try it first. Asking after you've had a go shows effort.
  3. Keep the question narrow. A specific hold or move is easier to answer than "how do I do this?"
  4. Say thanks, then go back to your climb. If they want to keep talking, they will.
  5. Respect a "no" or short answer. If they say they're working it out themselves, say "no worries, good luck" and move on.

How to start a conversation with a stranger and talk to a girl at the gym have more on starting a conversation in a place where people are focused on something else.

Classes and community nights

If you've never climbed, taking a class is the quickest way to get comfortable and to meet other beginners. As one example, Movement's Long Island City gym lists a 1.5-hour intro to bouldering class (covering movement basics, etiquette and falling technique) and an intro to rope climbing class (knots and belaying), each $49 or free for members at the time I looked. Prices and formats differ everywhere, so check your own gym's schedule.

Belay classes are worth taking in particular. Rope climbing needs a partner who can belay you. Once you can belay, "want to climb together?" becomes a natural question to ask.

Community nights, whether open to everyone or aimed at a specific group, are designed for mingling. Look at your gym's event calendar. Social nights give you an easy reason to start talking, and staff often help with introductions.

Friendship first

Most people who come to a climbing gym are there to climb, train or hang out with friends. A good approach is to build a handful of casual friendly relationships:

That's the order that lasts. Someone you've climbed with for six weeks knows you; someone you cornered on night one doesn't.

If you're interested in someone

You'll probably see them again whatever you do, which is a reason to move at a gentle pace.

How to ask someone out covers the asking, and friendly or flirting covers reading signals when you're not sure.

What to do next

  1. Visit this week and watch a session before you climb to see how people behave.
  2. Book an intro class if you're new, and one belay class if you want rope partners.
  3. Ask one person one specific question about a route, only when they're resting.
  4. Go at the same times two or three days a week for the next month.
  5. Attend one community or social night and learn three names.
  6. Invite a group for food after the third or fourth shared session.

You can also keep track of how it's going in Run Game, by naming a session after the gym and noting who you spoke to and what worked. See also meeting people through hobbies.

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