How to find someone to go out with on Run Game
Going out is easier with someone for many people, and not everyone has a friend who wants to do it. Run Game has three places to look for that person: the Map, the Friends tab and the forum. Existing friends, clubs and classes work too. This guide covers what each one does, how to start, and how to stay safe when you meet someone you only know online.
The Map: Near you
The Map has a section called Near you. It shows live sessions and plans to go out within 50 miles of you. Think of a live session as someone out now and a plan as someone heading out later.
You can do two things there:
- Ask to join someone's session or plan.
- Post your own, so people nearby can ask to join you.
If you're new, asking to join is the lower-pressure way in. Someone has already picked a time and place, so you're answering a plan, not inventing one. If nothing near you is posted, post your own with a specific time and area, such as Saturday evening around the downtown bars, rather than a vague "going out sometime."
Near you only helps if people near you use it. In a small town you may see nothing, and that's normal.
The Friends tab
Friends holds the people you've added on Run Game. It also shows a weekly board of your friends' approaches and a leaderboard. Once you've gone out with someone and it went fine, adding them keeps them in your friends list for the next time you plan.
If you want to hear about friend requests quickly, notifications help. On iPhone, notifications for friend requests, forum replies and nearby plans only work when Run Game is installed on your home screen. The install guide takes a few minutes.
The forum and city boards
The forum has topics (General, Field reports, Openers, Texting, Dates, Mindset, Style, Where to go and Wins) and city boards. A city board is the natural place to say you're looking for someone in your area, and "Where to go" is a good place to ask which spots are worth it.
A useful post is specific: your city, your usual nights, your experience level, and what you want to practice. "New to this, looking for someone in the city to do daytime approaches on weekends" gives people something to answer. Posting a field report also works. People who read it know how you think before they ever meet you.
Going with someone vs going alone
Each has costs.
| With someone | Alone | |
|---|---|---|
| Nerves | Often easier to start | You choose your own pace |
| Pace | You may match each other's, for better or worse | Fully yours |
| Conversations | A second person can help with groups | Nobody to coordinate with |
| Planning | Needs a time that works for both | Go whenever you want |
Most people end up doing both. Going out alone vs with a wingman goes into it, and how to find a wingman covers what makes a good one.
Meeting someone for the first time
You're meeting a stranger, so use the same common sense you would with anyone you met online.
- Pick a public place for the first meetup: a cafe, a busy street, a venue with people around.
- Tell a friend where you'll be and when. A text is enough.
- Keep your first meeting short. An hour is plenty. You can always make plans for next time.
- Arrive and leave on your own. Don't get into a stranger's car.
- Watch for mismatches. If someone's story doesn't line up with how they act, you can cancel or leave.
- Keep personal details private at first. Skip your home address and workplace until you know the person.
If you plan to go out together at a bar or club, agree before you go on how you'll check in with each other, and what you'll do if one of you wants to leave early.
Making it work once you've found someone
Agree on the basics before the night starts: where you'll meet, how long you'll stay, and what each of you wants to get out of it. Some people want to approach, others want to practice talking to anyone. Decide who goes first and how you'll signal "I'd like to go now." And if either of you gets a no, drop it and move on. That's the rule for everyone, every time.
What to do next
- Open the Map and look at Near you. See whether anyone within 50 miles has a plan or live session.
- Ask to join one plan this week, or post your own with a day, time and area.
- Write one forum post on your city's board saying what you want to practice and when you're free.
- Tell a friend where you're meeting a new person and when you'll check back.
- Meet in public for an hour. Decide beforehand what you want from the night.
- Add them to Friends if it went well, and plan the next time before you part. Best places to meet people in person has ideas for where.
- Install Run Game on your home screen if you haven't, so plan notifications reach you.